Ask, Believe & Receive

Matthew 21:22 Pictures, Images and Photos

Disclaimer: Today’s post is only one of the many personal testimonies God has allowed me to conquer, so that I may share with you. I am not revealing this for pity or praise. It has just been laid on my heart to reveal my account of how God has worked in my life. I debated with myself as to how I would deliver this…but as I often heard my grandmother say to me, “Be yourself” and that is the only person I know to be.  However, if my disclosure brings one of my readers desiring to become closer to Him, I have accomplished and succeeded with this precious assignment. To God, and none other, be the glory!

Now with that out of the way, let’s begin!

Six years ago, I had my yearly physical. Ugh. Though I work in the medical field, I dislike doctors and appointments. Moreover, I really don’t like my annual appointment! Ladies, I am sure you can relate. You can never slide down the exam table far enough, can you? Anyway, a couple of weeks later, the nurse called me with the results. She told me the pathologist deemed the results abnormal. The specimen obtained had some atypical squamous cells. In layman’s terms, I had some misshaped cells. Of course, the first thing that popped into my mind was the “big C”. The nurse advised me I would be referred to a gynecologist for a colposcopy. This is a procedure where the doctor looks at a woman’s cervix with a magnifying glass as well as other areas and takes biopsies (samples) of those areas for pathology examinations.

I almost have to laugh at myself telling this story because I was younger and nonchalant of the risks of instances as I am now.

Anyway, the procedure went well as far as the gathering samples for the lab. However, no one told me how painful and invasive it would be! All I remember from that day was being in the exam room and somehow getting back to my boyfriend’s house where he took care of me the rest of the day by handing me pain meds in between naps.

The results came back and said everything was fine and follow up in three months with a repeat pap smear. The results of that exam were normal and I was put back on a yearly schedule.

One year ago, I had my yearly performed with abnormal results. I remember asking God, “Why me? Again?”. This time I was reluctant about the appointment (because I remembered the pain afterward), but I went. I was in good spirits before and after because I had my best friend by my side. Despite the minor pain…I was smarter this time, I took the pain meds before the appointment.

The results came back and said everything was fine and follow up in three months with a repeat pap smear. The results of that exam were normal and I was put back on a yearly schedule.

Are you starting to see pattern here?

This year I had another abnormal pap smear. Instead of being reluctant, I flat out refused to go to the appointment! I thought it was absolutely absurd to willingly and actively go back on that cold exam table exchanging no revelation for excruciating pain! My bff suggested her doctor because she was very skillful and overall good at her profession. I was still weary. I put off scheduling the appointment for at least a month. Then, I scheduled it and canceled it.

One night I just got down on my knees, praying to God. I repented for anything causing this suffering to come my way, not once, but three times. I am not a bible scholar by any means; however, I remembered a verse saying, “if you ask, you shall receive”. So, I told Him exactly what came into my head. I recall saying, “God, please, please, please, let this doctor find something. I don’t want cervical cancer, but I need something to show up. I just can’t go through this again. I trust You to take care of this for me.” And I left the burden there. I didn’t think about the outcome anymore. Now, you’re probably asking did I ask for His help in alleviating the pain and the answer would be no. Why not? I don’t know. I guess because I needed Him to take care of the problem. I had bore the pain twice before. I needed assistance with a bigger issue.

I made the appointment and kept it this time. I have to be honest and tell you I was very anxious and upset by the time of the appointment. Not because of the results, but the anticipation of the pain awaiting. By the time I was in the exam room with the nurse, I was a nervous wreck! I mean crying, the whole nine yards! The nurse assured me everything would be fine and the doctor was exceptional at her craft. She also shared with me her own personal experience of the same and hugged me. By the time the doctor came in to meet me, I was a little better.

The doctor came in confident, but not cocky. She acknowledged my apprehensiveness, explained to me what the plan of action would be and pretty much assured me I would not have to have another colposcopy again.

Now had been listening to her, instead of thinking about the pain and why my support system wasn’t at the appointment with me…I would have rejoiced because my prayer was answered right there. But since I didn’t, the story continues.

I’ll skip the graphics of the appointment, but you would think laying on that table would be a breeze since I was a pro at these procedures by now. Hmph. It was the worst one yet. I cried the entire time from the pain I felt. I am cringing now just thinking about it.

Moving on, I came back for the follow-up appointment to get my results two weeks later than I was supposed to. I had to reschedule because I had to work. Going into the office, I knew nothing serious had been found because working in the medical field, I knew the nurse would have called to get me in sooner.

This time instead of her telling me what I had heard two times before, she told me I had cervicitis, which is the inflammation of the cervix. I was prescribed an antibiotic and told to follow up in a year for my scheduled annual.

Again, I left the doctor’s office balling like a baby. This time not because of pain, but because my prayer had been answered. Nothing more and nothing less.

Though I knew God worked it out in my favor I was still in awe because I didn’t know  “how” the story would end. However, I have learned if there is only a small amount of faith to spare, He’ll take it and turn it into something marvelous. I’m not sure why I had to experience the pain and turmoil I faced; yet standing on the other side of the mountain, I am glad I did. It has truly brought me closer than ever and forever in debt to Him because I could be going back for Round 4 or worse.

I truly believe sometimes God allows repeat episodes into our lives, not to punish or condemn us. But for us to realize and finally say, “Enough is enough”, “I need help”, “This is getting old”, “I am tired of doing this over and over again”, etc. It is at that particular moment, we surrender and hear His voice clearer than ever.

Today’s dare: If there is something you continually battle with, wave your white flag and give it to God to handle.

1) Ask.  Seek clear directions (if any) and leave it there!

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” Psalm 32:8 (English Standard Version)

2) Believe. Have faith He will take care of your situation or guide you to the solution.

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:20 (NLT)

3) Receive. Then, wait for it. (see image above, Matthew 21:22) If you can’t seem to relate, stand as an intercessor for someone else. God answers prayers of intercession (Acts 12: 1-17).

xoxo,

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: